By George & Josh Bate
The extent to which the term ‘ugly crying’ has become commonplace in modern lexicon speaks to how contradictory and unhealthy our culture can be. On the one hand, expressions of genuine emotion should be encouraged and yet, on the other hand, they need to be done in an socially acceptable manner, otherwise judgment awaits. Cry authentically and express anguish on your face, but maintain your beauty and composure. Release the emotions you need to release, but do so without snot streaming from your nose, sweat dripping from your skin, or heavy breathing. Ugly Cry, a new film premiering at this year’s SXSW, explores the deeper implications and disastrous consequences that come from a society and industry willing to label an expression of genuine emotion as ugly.
From writer, director, producer, and star Emily Robinson, Ugly Cry follows Delaney, a young actress in Hollywood hopping from one self-tape/audition to the next in search of her breakout role. When up for a role that could change the trajectory of her career, Delaney receives a note from a producer that she has an “ugly cry.” This sole point of feedback causes Delaney to spiral into a whirlwind of anxiety as she dangerously pursues perfection.
The HoloFiles recently had the opportunity to speak with Emily Robinson about her SXSW premiere, why exploring the phenomenon of ugly crying is topical and important, how she drew on her own experiences and vulnerabilities in the film, and more.
Actors, and people more generally, are picked apart and critiqued for so many aspects of their appearance, but Robinson landed on ugly crying as the primary vulnerability for her protagonist as it resonated with her personal experience. “I think that as an actor you hope that you’re not thinking about your appearance and you hope that your work is to be present and think about relationships and embody a character,” Robinson reflected. “But crying is one of those things that just gets talked about a lot. It’s like, ‘Oh, can you cry?” All of these things about having a good cry, especially being a child actor, that people talk about. It’s something I’ve always had feelings about. I’m very proud that I often have an ugly cry. That’s a big point of pride in my life. But I’ve also been criticized for it.”
Robinson elaborated on the inherent tragedy of critiquing the way in which someone cries. “I think that there’s something really heartbreaking about feeling connected and vulnerable and in touch with your emotion and then, exactly at that moment when you’re in this very vulnerable state, being told, ‘Oh, no, no. Wait, that’s ugly.’ There’s something very current about that and sad and uncreative.”
Beyond her experiences with a supposed ugly cry, Robinson drew on her experiences of taping many auditions in crafting a number of scenes in the film that depict her character Delaney self-tape with the hope that her dream role is right around the corner. “I think a really funny bit that’s totally inspired by real events is when Delaney is self-taping with her mother. And there’s a really graphic, awful attack scene that her mother is having to read. And she’s kind of kidnapping herself in the tape. It’s done in this humorous way, but it’s deeply dark. And that is absolutely inspired by me being a child and doing tapes with my parents that were just awful. And like, ‘We should not have been filming a love interest scene.’ And my dad’s reading. Just these terrible combinations of you’re playing and who your parent is playing. And then having childhood angst come out of that. That was very much inspired by real events.”
In conveying Delaney’s struggles as an aspiring actor facing criticism for her appearance, Ugly Cry comments on the slippery slope of pursuing perfection. Delaney responds to scrutiny and comparison from her teachers, fellow actors, agents, producers, filmmakers, and even her mother by altering her appearance, disregarding personal relationships, and losing sight of who she is as a person. But, unlike other films that explore similar themes in a more heightened, exaggerated, or even supernatural manner, Robinson’s film remains firmly grounded in reality.
“I just really like existing between genres,” Robinson remarked. “I like using it in ways that feel exciting and important for exploring the story. But I didn’t want it to feel so detached from reality, because I felt like it would do a disservice to the real issues people face. I think there are examples of doing exactly the opposite and being super effective, but I think, for this story specifically, [that wouldn’t work].”
As Delaney’s destructive pursuit continues, the aspiring actress begins to experience several visions, including a particularly poignant one involving her younger self. “There’s this refrain where we see young Delaney crying,” Robinson detailed. “And she’s kind of haunting us benevolently. It’s like a benevolent haunting. And older Delaney, who I play, is kind of like, ‘I’m doing this for you. I’m trying to get the thing that you wanted.’ It’s very results oriented. And that’s not why young Delaney is crying. Young Delaney is crying, because she doesn’t recognize herself – not visually, not emotionally. She is getting further and further away from who she is as a person. And it can feel really hard.”
While Ugly Cry focuses on the plight of an aspiring actor, its messaging about comparison culture holds relevance far beyond the film industry, especially in an era dominated by social media, Instagram models, rampant cosmetic surgery, unrealistic body standards, and more. “I know it’s about an adult who works in film, but I really think a lot about young teens who are on Instagram and feel these pressures internalized,” Robinson explained. “And maybe it’s not Botox, but it’s similar feelings to modify or dress in a certain way or exist in a certain way. I think the realistic pressures and the realistic actions are scary enough and have real repercussions.”
In taking audiences through Delaney’s journey with comparison culture and the pursuit of perfection, Robinson hopes to leave audiences with a message about staying true to ourselves. “The world can pull you in all these different directions, but I think it is really about staying true to who you are,” Robinson stated. “In filmmaking, you could be pulled into this direction, this genre, that genre, trying to perform in a different way. And I think that the more you can just listen to the little voice in your head and follow your heart, the better it’ll be long term.”
Robinson’s core message is emotionally conveyed in a movie that examines unrealistic beauty standards, the cutthroat nature of the film industry, and the toxicity of comparison culture. Ugly Cry provokes thought and anxiety in equal measure and serves as a resounding announcement of Emily Robinson’s talent in front of and behind the camera.